PB & J

Jenna Meets Santa 2010

2010-12-05T21:49:00.000-08:00

Well we took Jenna to meet Santa. We've been looking at her picture with Santa from last year to try to prep her for meeting him again. On Saturday we were at the mall trying to get some shopping done and we spent a few minutes watching the other kids sit with Santa. Luckily while we were watching all the kids that went were very happy. Jenna was nervous at first but the minute she saw Santa hand a child a candy cane she was game. I swear this kid will do anything for a candy. So anyways, the line was crazy long so we headed over to another shopping center where we had other errands. We stopped by to check out Santa and there was only one family ahead of us. Jenna did awesome! Not only did she smile, she even had some fun with Santa after her picture was taken. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to hug and kiss Santa, and actually did hug and kiss the photographer (a friend of our friend Brian). Anyways, I'm going to post the pictures, although one is a picture of a picture so if you could see it in person it does look better. But you'll get the idea.

Ummmm.....yeah...this is exactly what I love most about this kid!!

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-11-30T21:25:00.001-08:00

We spent Thanksgiving day up in Shaver. Pat's aunt and uncle have a cabin up there and Pat's side always spends Thanksgiving up there. We alternate years with my family and his and so this year we got to join them. The day started a little rough, with Pat having a cold, but as soon as we got there, we had a blast. It was Jenna's first time in the snow and she LOVED every second of it. We ended our day back at my dad's house where we had some yummy dessert. We went home full and tired.

Pat, his mom Shelly, sister Renae, Amanda (his brother's girlfriend), his brother Tyler, and his dad Tom

Jenna being a goof in her Papa's boots.

This year we are especially thankful. Two short months ago I didn't know if we would be celebrating the holidays (at least publicly) this year. We were thinking that November and December would be full of chemo treatments and not family gatherings. As we drove home from Shaver we talked about how grateful we are. We are grateful for what we went through. As much as it scared us and stressed us out, and as much tears as we shed, we wouldn't change it for anything. We talked about how we hope we never forget all that we experienced. What we went through forever changed our marriage and gave us a new perspective on life. It's easy to slip back into my old ways and my old way of thinking, and I often have to remind myself that things could be much, much worse. We are so thankful for the wonderful support system we have. Parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family members, amazing friends, a wonderfully supportive church, a great daycare that cares so much for our sweet girl, wonderful co-workers and employers....the list could go on. They say life is full of peaks and valleys. The view from the valley can be just as spectacular as the peak. To anyone reading this Thank you from the bottom of my very grateful heart.

2 years and Yellow Day

2010-11-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

November 24th was Jenna's 2nd birthday. How is that possible? Our baby is gone and we have this little girl now. Pat and I both worked that day so Jenna had to go to daycare. Since her birthday was on the wednesday before Thanksgiving, her class got to have a big feast. It also happened to be yellow day, which is Jenna's favorite color, so she ended up having a great day at school. We baked cupcakes (with yellow frosting) so Jenna could celebrate with her classmates. I had to get some pictures of her that morning because she was too cute in her yellow shirt and skinny jeans.

That evening, Pats parents and sister came over to celebrate with us. We had yummy food, followed by cupcakes. Jenna was so excited when we sang to her. She loved every second of the attention. She blew out her candle and signed more, so we of course re-lit the candle and sang again.

She's a sweet-aholic just like mommy and daddy!

So excited with her new book.

So, at 2 years old Jenna is:

around 30 pounds, and 35.5 inches tall
wearing 2T clothing
wearing size 8 shoes
getting thicker and longer hair, but still refusing any and all clips or bows
skipping, jumping, dancing, and doing perfect sommersaults
daytime potty trained, and waking up dry about 90% of the time
still riding rear-facing in her carseat
speaking in 3-5 word sentences, and repeating nearly everything we say (gotta watch it now)
saying "no" and "mine" to everything, which absolutely makes me nuts!
Surprisingly, not throwing any temper tantrums
still using a binky in the car and when she's tired. I know, I know, it's time to ditch it
Obsessed with Barney, Mickey, Minnie, and Elmo
happiest when she's playing with her babydoll "Apple." She's such a good little mommy
still definitely Daddy's girl
such a funny, curious, joyful little girl, with two lucky parents that love her immensely.

Jenna's Birthday Dinner

2010-11-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

We had a birthday dinner for Jenna this past Saturday night. My parents couldn't be here on her actual birthday to celebrate with us, and Pat's parents couldn't be here Saturday night, so she ended up getting two celebrations. I think she kinda liked having two nights dedicated to herself, and to eating cake and presents.

In addition to my mom, dad, and Janice, we had Nonnie and Aunt Pam (or Pom as Jenna says), and our good friends Abby and Brian. The theme for the evening was Minnie Mouse because Jenna absolutely loves Mickey and Minnie. We kept it super simple and had Mexican food (on paper Minnie plates), followed by chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream. Jenna did a great job. She was sweet and friendly, and very much enoyed being in the spotlight. She tore into her presents, and actually seemed equally excited by clothes and toys. She loved it when we all sang happy birthday and she blew out her candles like a pro (i.e. no spitting as she blew). She then played with her toys for the rest of the evening. She has been playing with them all day...I think she's pretty excited to have some new things. Here's our pictures from our very fun night.

The yummy cake

the birthday girl

The party-goers (not the best pic)

New clothes

Loving our singing!

happy girl

new table and chairs from mommy and daddy

Her new high chair for her baby

So these two pictures have nothing to do with Jenna's birthday party but I am too excited not to share. We got our tree up on black friday. Seriously, this is a first for me. Usually the tree doesn't go up until the secondish week of December. Last year, our tree went up and then we never even put any ornaments on it. This year, I am determined that I will enjoy the month of December. Most of our shopping is done, and now our house is decorated. We are all set to have a fun December.

The mantle looks prettier in real life. The lights are better in person and the other stuff seems sparklier in person than in this picture. I'm waiting for our stockings to arrive and that will be the final touch.

The BEST news!!!!

2010-11-21T21:43:00.000-08:00

Really, in the grand scheme of life, I suppose it's dramatic to say this is the BEST news, but it's pretty awesome...we have a potty-using toddler!! Jenna has shown an interest in using the potty for the last month or so. I kind of thought it was too early but also tried to encourage her as best I could. She has very sensitive skin and breaks out super easy, and reacts to nearly all types of diapers. We use these super sensitive organic ones, which are almost twice the price of your standard pamper. Even with that she is quite prone to diaper rash, so I was super excited at the thought of soft, natural cotton underwear against her skin.

Last Wednesday (11-10) when I picked Jenna up from school, her teachers mentioned to me that they thought Jenna would do very well with potty training. She was staying dry between diaper changes and was already going on the potty. They said she had been spending the last week watching all the other kids in her class who are potty trained/training, and was wanting to sit on the potty herself. They said she might be too young, but they wanted to at least try since she seemed so excited about it. And so on Friday (11-12) we brought in lot's of pairs of training underwear and lot's of extra pants. I promised myself I wouldn't get too excited or hopeful. I called on my lunch beak to check her progress. 4 pee accidents, 0 pee successes, 2 poop successes, 0 poop accidents. hmmmm...too early to tell. When I picked her up that afternoon, they told me she still had no poop accidents, had 1 more pee accident, and 1 pee success. They encouraged me to pursue it over the weekend.

I decided to spend the entire weekend at the house. Jenna would wear panties all day, and pull-ups at nap and bedtime. Saturday morning included 3 full pee accidents, and 1 half pee accident (half in her underwear, then ran herself to the potty, and got the other half in the potty). However, she pooped like 3 times that morning in the potty. Saturday afternoon and evening included only 1 pee accident, and multiple successes. Sunday was awesome. All day and evening, Jenna only had one accident! I couldn't believe it. We were nearly constantly reminding her to tell us if she had to go and not to go in her panties. It worked.

Monday morning I dressed her in her panties and packed a ton of spare clothes and back to daycare we went. Her teachers all clapped and danced and cheered for her. When I picked her up they told me she only had one accident all day, and it was when she was outside playing. Tuesday went the same and so did Wednesday. Thursday and Friday she had NO accidents. Saturday and Sunday also were accident free. We are continuing with the pull-ups for bedtime and naptime, although this morning is the only morning she woke up with it being a bit wet. Her teachers said that it is always dry after her naps too. We are so excited for our big girl, we just can't believe it. The funniest thing is tonight, the 3 of us were in our room putting laundry away, and after a few minutes Jenna disappeared. We heard her fumbling around a few minutes later and found her in her bathroom, in the dark, going potty. Apparently she didn't feel the need to ask for our help.

brown day

2010-11-09T22:02:00.001-08:00

On November 1st, Jenna got to move up to the next class at her daycare. She is now in Room 2 which is for 2-3 year olds. She has been adjusting really well and I think she is having a blast in this older class. On the first day we were given a calendar of events which explained what they would be focusing on each day. Since it's November, most of the activities are centered around Thanksgiving, which I think is awesome. Each month they also focus on two colors and this month the colors are brown and yellow. So today was brown day, and they asked that all the kids wear something brown. Looking through Jenna's closet, I couldn't really find anything with any significant amount of brown. So I went over to Old Navy yesterday and grabbed this little brown ruffle shirt for $6. I was super excited this morning because as I was in my own closet getting dressed, I told Jenna that we had to go get her dressed but that she had to wear brown. She disappeared into her closet and returned with the brown shirt. Possibly a coincidence, but I'm thinking she has learned the color brown. Anyways, I gave her the option of jeans or a jean skirt, and she quite happily chose the skirt. I then gave her the option of tights or leggings, and she was so excited to choose tights. We paired it with her super cute brown boots, and I think we had a cute little outfit. Of course, I made her take a few pictures.
The lighting is weird but her tights are pink, brown, orange, and cream stripes. Honestly, when else can you get away with horizontal stripes on your legs??

Total cheesy, fake smile.

I didn't tell her to put her hands in her pockets, but I thought it was super cute when she did.

The complete outfit.

the surgery

2010-11-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

Pat's surgery was scheduled for Friday September 3rd super early in the morning. They called us Thursday night and changed the arrival time to 10 am. This made it really nice for us because we were able to spend some time with Jenna and take her to daycare before the hospital. Pat especially appreciated this as he knew it would be many weeks before he could hold her again.

We checked in and they got Pat all prepped, poor guy got poked 3 times before his IV finally worked. Once he was ready, they allowed his parents, Tom and Shelly, and my mom to come back. The whole group was a bundle of nerves. They moved us to another holding area and on our way over we ran into Nonnie. We came to a point on our walk through the hospital that we had to split up. They couldn't allow the whole group back and so my family and Pat's had to head to the waiting room. It was an emotional 'see you later' that was said. I bit my lip and willed myself to keep it together. Pat didn't need me to be a wreck. Once we were in the holding area, the anesthesiologist and the surgeon came by. Once again, seeing and talking with Dr. Cunningham helped ease my fears. Within 5 minutes they came to get Pat and so it was time for me to leave. I really don't remember what we said to each other...just that it was overwhelmingly difficult to walk away as they wheeled my husband back to surgery. As soon as I rounded the corner the tears started flowing.

Surgery was supposed to take about two hours. They gave us a number and in the waiting room was a large TV screen that listed all the patient numbers and their status. It reminded me of an airport where you check the screen for your flight information. So we sat and stared at the screen. Shelly and my mom carried on conversation, nonnie chimed in occasionally, and Tom read the paper. Our close friend Abby arrived shortly after and sat with us. Shelly's sister came and sat as well. My friend Erica stopped by with a jamba juice that I couldn't drink. And then our close friend Brian arrived. The group of us sat and waited. Brian, Abby and my mom talked and laughed, and eventually got me to relax and join their conversation. About 2 hours later, Dr Cunningham appeared in the doorway and motioned for me to join him in the hall.

He told me that the spleen was in fact, huge but that surgery went well. I pressed for more at which point he politely cut me off and gently reminded me what I already knew. We would have to wait for the pathology results which wouldn't be ready until Monday at the earliest. He also informed that a portion of Pat's spleen was being sent out for special studies. Pat had to stay in recovery for about 90 minutes and then a room would be available. Pat's parents left to take care of a few things and my Nonnie left. Abby, Brian, and my mom stayed with me until I could see Pat, which I was so grateful for. The three of them take me as I am. They know my impatience, they accept my moods, and they knew exactly what I needed at every moment throughout this whole experience.

Halloween 2010, part 2

2010-11-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, here are a few photos from Halloween. Honestly, Halloween is not my favorite. I'm so not into it, and I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about it but I think I'm over it. Pat's not really so into it either. We talked about it and figure it might change as Jenna (and any other children we may have) get older and are more into it. But this year, she really couldn't care less. We got some pictures of her scooping out her pumpkin and I'm glad we took a bunch of pictures at the beginning because she was interested for about 4 minutes. Anyways, we will see what the future holds, but for now, I'm way more excited now that we have Thanksgiving and Christmas coming soon!

Scooping out the insides....in jammies no less.

Digging deep
Not the best picture, but at least I'm in it!

Daddy and his mini me

All ready to go trick or treating

Jumping up and down

No idea what was so funny, but this picture makes me laugh

So here is Jenna's treat bag for this year. I only had a few breakdowns while putting it together. A few choice words, many trips to Michaels, and a broken sewing machine needle later...

The top picture is the front of the bag and the bottom picture is the back.

I'm thinking I will be ordering from Etsy next year...we will see.

Halloween 2010

2010-10-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

We are so fortunate to have a wonderful photographer, Cori derksenphotography.com who offered to do free Halloween mini-shoots. She did short little photo shoots all day last Friday for all her regular clients for no charge and released the rights to the photos. She had yummy treats for the kids and the adults, and it was a fun way to start celebrating Halloween. Jenna started out a little shy but as soon as Cori pulled out the candy, she was all smiles. I can't believe how old she looks. Our baby doesn't look much like a baby anymore.

the wait

2010-10-19T18:05:00.000-07:00

Pat's surgery was scheduled for Friday September 3rd. It seriously took forever to get to that day. We were so ready to get it over with and get moving on a treatment plan. We had accepted that it was very likely going to be lymphoma and we were ready to start treating it. I had a few good long cries and then I sucked it up and decided I better start thinking positive. I'm not sure if Pat did the same or if he was just positive the entire time. We had some amazing conversations late at night while laying in bed. We had wonderful moments spent together in prayer. I felt us growing closer, and I knew whatever happened our marriage would be stronger. It was one of the defining moments in our marriage.

We had to line a few things up in preparation. The most important of those being sperm banking. We knew that chemo would pretty much render Pat sterile and so we got everything in order to bank sperm for our future. These were calls I never expected to be making. Pat was very good natured about the whole thing and managed to crack quite a few jokes even whilst standing in the fertility clinic waiting room.

One of the other things that seemed really important at the time was getting a spare room all set up. I was nervous that we would be spending a lot of time away from home and that when we were home we were going to need extra help with Jenna. I wanted a comfortable place for our parents to stay. We had an extra bedroom that we affectionately referred to as the hoarder room. Truly, that's exactly what the room looked like. We always kept the door shut and it was essentially full of all kinds of things that we didn't know what to do with. I re-organized all of it and either sold it, donated it, or put it in plastic bins, which now reside in the garage. We decided that this bedroom would eventually become Jenna's bedroom and so we painted it pink and bought a full size bed. Once the room was organized and all set up, I felt better.

We spent as much time with Jenna as possible. We went to the park and the zoo, and stopped enforcing such things as bedtime. We spent a lot of time with our family and close friends. I was very concerned about the fact that if Pat was going to go through chemo his immune system would be so weak and unable to handle visitors. I wanted him to enjoy the people he loved as much as possible. We ate yummy meals and didn't skip out on dessert.

As dramatic as it sounds, the way we both viewed our lives changed so much during this time. We said things like, when this is all over, we are going to... We realized that waiting for the perfect time to do things like take a family vacation, or expand our little family, was a luxury we shouldn't take for granted. It's so cliche to say things like life is short, or you never know when your time is up. Logically I know those statements are true but honestly I still make all these elaborate plans for the future. All the sudden, I was faced with the fact that the future didn't look at all like I had planned.

The Patch

2010-10-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

This Saturday we took Jenna to the pumpkin patch. It is a really fun set up with rides, vendors, entertainment, a haunted house, and of course, pumpkins. We went last year and had a blast and this year the owner expanded his space to include even more attractions. This past Saturday was a special day at the patch where the owner was donating 100% of the proceeds to our local Ronald McDonald House. For 10 dollars, Jenna got unlimited access to the rides. We went down this giant slide quite a few times, and had she had it her way, it would have been many more times. It was 90 degrees on Saturday so I didn't dress her in her long sleeve pumpkin shirt but oh well. It was a really fun day for us.

Daddy and Jenna on the little train

Family self-portrait on the spinning strawberry ride

Jenna's first roller-coaster. Seriously tiny little cars. No way anyone taller than me could squeeze their legs into that thing. Seriously.

One of those tilt-a-whirl rides. It went forward and backward. For a few seconds I considered that maybe Jenna wasn't ready for this, but she laughed the entire time.

Sweet little face on the lookout for the perfect pumpkin.

She found it!!

What a cheese this little girl is. I love her squinchy, cheesy grins!

Dr. Cunningham and trust

2010-10-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

So the day comes for us to go to the surgeon. We had already been told that we would wait a long time because we were squeezed in on his schedule. We waited 2 plus hours, which I was surprisingly okay with. I kept telling myself it was going to be worth it. Boy was it ever.

Dr Cunningham walked in, shook each of our hands as he introduced himself, and then sat down and read Pat's chart. Seriously, we sat in silence as he read through everything, and thumbed through all the papers. Pat and I kept looking at each other because it was kind of a long, awkward silence. Finally, he peered over his glasses at Pat and said, "so basically you had some weird blood levels, your doctor sent you to an oncologist who found out you have a large spleen, and now you're here to talk to me about removing it." Ummm....yep that pretty much sums it up. He looked older than I remember him. His hair, once salt and pepper, is now white, and there's much less of it. Still seemed pretty mellow.

He then proceeded to read each of the reports out loud to us, explaining each as he went. He started with labs and told us how Pat's red and white cells, as well as platelets were remarkably low. Yep, knew about that. Then he started reading the CT scan, "spleen remarkably enlarged, with multiple lesions throughout." Wait...what??? I quickly cut in and ask him to repeat what he just said. He does and then looks at me waiting for a response. I tell him no one has told us about lesions. He nonchalantly says, "oh. Well I'll keep reading then." He then mentions that there are 2 enlarged lymph nodes near the spleen and two enlarged lymph nodes lower in Pat's abdominal cavity. He pauses and looks at me and I tell him how that is also new information to us. He then moves on to the the PET scan and tells us how the spleen reacted as well as the four lymph nodes. We sit quietly. Dr Cunningham closes the chart and turns his chair to face us.

He explains that all the information we need to get a true diagnosis is in the spleen. He explains that he feels that the spleen needs to come out. Pat asks if they could just biopsy it. The doctor says well we could but I think it really needs to be removed. Based on the scans it seems very diseased and should be removed. He explains that he will remove it through 4 incisions and that Pat will have to stay in the hospital for 1-2 nights. I ask about the lymph nodes and he tells me that the only way to get to them is by cutting Pat completely open and removing most of his organs, and that it isn't worth the risk when the spleen will have all the answers we need. He then asks if we have any questions. So I go for it again. I ask him based on all the reports he just read, does he think it is lymphoma. I totally expect the same dancing around the topic answer that I got from the oncologist. So I'm totally shocked when he instead says "yeah, most likely."

Wow. I thank him for his honesty, and then apologize for being so pushy and direct. He gives me a wry smile, and dismisses the idea completely. He then looks at us and explains that a doctor-patient relationship depends completely on trust. If we don't trust him it's never going to work. Therefore, he has to do his part to make sure we can always trust him and that starts with him being as open and honest as possible. He tells us he won't ever hide the truth even if the truth sucks. I am all at once completely at ease with this man operating on mine.

He then goes on to explain that surgery will be scheduled 3 weeks out. 3 weeks!!!?? Before I could protest, he quickly explained that while you don't need your spleen to live, not having one leaves a person susceptible to 3 main illnesses. Pneumonia, haemophilus influenza, and meningitis, and as such, it would be best to immunize Pat against these 3 diseases prior to surgery. He tells us that the body then needs about 3 weeks to build up the antibodies and then we are good to go. It is best to give the immunizations while the spleen is still in the body and the immune system is intact. He assures us that even in the case of cancer, 3 weeks will not matter, and the risk of him contracting a bad case of pneumonia in this valley is high. I unhappily agree with the plan and so surgery is scheduled for September 3rd.

Pat's 30th

2010-10-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

So it took 10 days to see the surgeon. We were seeing Dr Cunningham who I sort of remembered from my first nursing job at the hospital. I remembered that he was nice and mellow and always treated the nurses kindly (hugely important in my eyes). I told my boss, Dr D, who we were seeing, and his response, "he's the best...the only one I'd want cutting on me," made me feel relieved, and much less irritated about waiting 10 days to see him. Somewhere in the middle of these 10 days was Pat's 30th birthday. It was really hard for me to have all of this over shadowing his day. 30 is a big deal and Pat is such a treasure and I just wanted his birthday to be free of worry.

Before any of this started, I had considered having a party for him. I had planned on including all our friends, and then Pat's mom mentioned including some family as well and offered her home and backyard for the party. Once all of this started, Pat said he preferred to spend the day with just close family and friends, and no party. And so we spent some time with his parents and sister and some time with my parents over the weekend. On his actual birthday I decided to make some of his favorite foods and invited our bestfriends Abby and Brian over. I took the afternoon off to prepare. We had a wonderful dinner and I even made his very favorite chocolate cake with home made vanilla ice cream. So very Martha of me. When I look at the pictures from this night, all I can see is how pale and tired Pat looks. He doesn't look like his usual self to me.

The following weekend we went out with our whole group and celebrated Pat and Abby's birthday (they are 4 days apart). We had Abby and Brian fill everyone in before we arrived just so it wouldn't be weird if we had to leave early. Our friends were nervous but hopeful and provided a good distraction for us that night. Right during the middle of dinner but broke a fever and had to leave the table for a short bit, and I was happy everyone already knew and didn't have to ask a bunch of questions. A few days later, Abby posted her pictures and I was again focused on how Pat just didn't look like himself.

During this time Pat was taking naps everyday. He was going to bed early. He was still experiencing the night sweats and random fevers. I was preparing myself for the news that he was sick and trying to think of how we were going to handle the months of chemo that were coming. I was also trying to enjoy every single second with him that I could before we faced that. Being away from him was agony. It was all I could do to go to work every day. Other than work, I didn't want to spend one minute away from him. Not that I was convinced he was going to die, because honestly, I never considered that. I just knew that chemo was going to be incredibly difficult, and I wanted to have as much fun with him as I could before that started.

Pat's story-tests and appointments, and more tests

2010-10-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

So the oncologist sends Pat for a CT scan and then we went back a week later for results. I was fairly irritated during the week as I'm not very good at waiting. Walking back into that waiting room was a little easier since it was a friday and most of the doctors weren't in the office so it was pretty quiet. We were seen pretty quickly, and the doctor came in and told us that the spleen was quite large on the CT scan. They were able to compare it to a CT that Pat had in 2008 and his spleen had grown 4 cm in 2 years, and was considered twice the size of normal. He again discussed what the possible causes of this could be and again mentioned lymphoma. Since this was the worst case scenario, he wanted to try to rule it out first. So he ordered a PET scan.

A PET scan involves injection a radioactive sugar solution into the patient and then doing a scan (similar to a CT scan). Apparently cancer metabolizes sugar very quickly and so it will grab up the solution and be "lit up" on the scan. So if you have a PET scan you don't want any lit up spots. Keep in mind it's friday. He tells his nurse to schedule Pat's scan for "next week." The nurse comes in and tells us the scan will be on wednesday, to which the doctor says, "no. I want it Monday, call them back." And so it is scheduled for monday, and then we were to return to his office on tuesday for results. The doctor could easily tell that I was alarmed at his urgency. He gave me a forced laugh, and said "I mean why wait if we don't have to, right?" Rrriiight. Sure. I am well aware how scheduling works. We don't jump unless we really need to.

The weekend passes and Pat goes to his scan on monday. Tuesday comes and I fully think we are going to get some answers at the follow-up appointment. The doctor comes in and opens the report and tells us that Pat's spleen and some nearby lymph nodes were "lit up" on the PET scan. This was not what we were hoping for. The doctor seemed to have a different demeanor at this visit. He said the next step was to get a biopsy of the spleen, which would provide a definitive diagnosis. He told us he needed to step out for a second and call a surgeon for his opinion. And so we were left alone. My tears started and Pat started laughing. The doctor returned and told us that we would be seeing the surgeon next to decide if he was going to biopsy the spleen or remove it. He then asked if we had any questions. I couldn't help myself. I asked him to please be honest with me and tell me if he thought it was lymphoma. He kinda danced right around my direct question and said something about being 30% convinced. I apologized for being pushy, and he said "well, at least your pleasantly pushy." I have to admit I kinda liked that.

Pat's Story, and it continues

2010-10-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

The first appointment with the oncologist (I now refuse to refer to him as a hematologist because I just know we are dealing with cancer) is quite daunting. We walked into an extremely busy waiting room. Almost all the chairs were taken and there was a large TV on the wall that was entirely too loud. I glanced quickly around the room and noticed mostly middle-aged to elderly people. We most definitely were the youngest people in the room and it was apparent that I wasn't the only one who noticed. It felt like people were staring at us waiting to see which of us was the patient. Pat checked in and I grabbed a seat. They immediately took Pat back to a little lab and drew some blood. The TV was still blaring away and people were chatting. Different medical assistants and lab techs kept coming in and out calling out names. It seemed ridiculously loud and I could feel the panic rising up from my gut. I looked around at all the bald heads, pale skin, thin bodies, and couldn't believe we were sitting there. I told Pat that everyone needed to be quiet and I thought the TV should get turned off. He knew that I wasn't really freaking out about the noise level, and for the hundredth time in this process, took my hand and assured me that everything was fine.

I started praying. I've recently discovered that praying truly helps you escape. I asked God to touch my amazing husband's body, I prayed for all the people who were sitting there and for their significant others and I prayed that God would ease my anxious heart. I begged that He would be patient with me as I am learning to trust him fully. At some point my prayers were interrupted when a medical assistant came out for us. She took us back to the oncologists actual office. He sat there behind a huge desk cluttered with charts. He asked Pat to tell him the whole story. Pat stuttered and stammered, searching for the words to start. I interjected and explained how it started and how we were referred, not once looking at Pat to make sure he was okay with my taking over. Poor Pat. The doctor looks over all the labs and tells us that Pat is young and healthy and he really thinks all is well and we don't even need to be there. But, since we are there he sends us down to an exam room so he can do a quick physical exam.

In my mind, I knew we weren't done yet. I knew we weren't getting out of this that easy. He came down and did all his doctor-y things with his stethoscope and little flashlight. All was well until he touched Pat's abdomen. He told us he could feel his spleen. In a normal adult, the spleen is not palpable. He told us he would order a CT scan to check out the actual size of the spleen. He then told us the possible causes of an enlarged spleen: a virus or infection, maybe he was just born with a big spleen, and possibly lymphoma. There it was. I knew it. Cancer. It was like a sharp slap across the face. I knew it was a really long walk back out through the office and the waiting room and I really wanted to start the walk so I could hurry up and lose it. As we walked out we passed many doorways, and without thinking I glanced quickly into each one as we passed, until one particular doorway stopped me dead in my tracks. It was a big room filled with recliners and IV poles, each set occupied by a person. Some were watching TV, reading books, working on laptops, while others were wrapped in blankets. This was the chemo room and in a moment, everything became a little too real.

Pat's Story-From the start

2010-10-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

Sometime during the week after Father's Day, Pat came down with a sinus infection. He took a week-long round of fairly strong antibiotics, and after a couple days was still having sinus symptoms. His allergist said it was quite common for sinus infections to be tough to treat so she prescribed him an even stronger antibiotic that he took for 10 days. Finally his sinus symptoms seemed better.

Fast forward to the weekend of the 4th of July. I notice that Pat is having night sweats, but hello it is July so who isn't right? However, over the course of the next few weeks, Pat begins to have fevers randomly throughout the day and continues with pretty intense night sweats every few nights. He then started complaining about feeling tired and weak all the time and began taking naps a lot and still sleeping all night. I began noticing he was looking a little pale as well. Finally one evening he came to kiss me goodnight and I could tell he was hot. He took his temperature and it was over 102. He said he didn't feel sick but just tired. Enough was enough. He called his family doctor the next day and was seen late that afternoon. They ordered some blood work which he did that same evening. Early the next morning the doctor called Pat to tell him that his blood counts were all out of whack and he was being sent to a hematologist. Pat called me to fill me in just as I was walking into work. I tried to sound normal and play it off as no big deal while on the phone with him, but as soon as we hung up, the tears started flowing and the panic was overwhelming. Hematologist means oncologist which means cancer. My initial thoughts were of leukemia, and I had 8 more days before we met with the oncologist to wrestle with that.

I couldn't decide how to handle talking with Pat about it. He seemed so calm and nonchalant on the phone so I was almost convinced that he had no idea we were being seen by a cancer doctor. I decided to leave it as such until I could feel him out a little more. No sense in both of us being nervous basket-cases. Someone had to stay normal for Jenna's sake. I spent the next few days on PubMed and with my nose buried in every single text book I could find, which is truly a horrible idea. I would occasionally ask him questions but was pretty much dancing around the subject.

Finally, it had eaten away at me enough that I asked him if he knew what a hematologist dealt with. He causally responded "yeah, cancer," and then went about his business. Ummm...hello?? Where is your freak-out then?? It was the first of many times throughout this process that I was left speechless by my husband's complete and total faith. He told me God was in control and he wasn't worried a bit. God already knew the outcome and it would be according to His will and in Pat's mind that's all that mattered. It was then that I decided I better start spending a lot more time with the Lord so that he might hear my prayers. My husband was leading me spiritually and I had never been so grateful.

Pat's Update

2010-10-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

Since it's been awhile I thought I better spend a little time updating everyone. Pat's had the most going on lately so I figured I would start with him. As I started writing this, I realized it was going to be a very, very long post so I've decided to break it up into a few so no one has to read the whole story all at once. Consequently, I'm going to tell you how it ends first.

Pat has a metabolic condition in which he is unable to metabolize cholesterol properly. Most specifically he has a very low HDL level (the good cholesterol), and an insanely high triglyceride level. The goal for all of us is to have an HDL close to 50 or above. Pat's is around 20. And we all want a triglyceride level under 150. Pat's fluctuates between 600-800. This is a recipe for disaster, and leaves him at a very high risk of heart disease and stroke. What it has done to him so far is caused moderate to severe fatty deposits in his liver, which lead to his spleen enlarging to twice it's normal size. This condition is very treatable and we are extremely relieved and hopeful about the future. This picture was taken July 28, Pat's 30th birthday, when to be honest, I was feeling anything but hopeful.

The Escape Artist

2010-10-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

Take a look at Jenna's new bed....

I was SO not ready for this. Bedtime has always been a bit stressful at our house. We used to rock her to sleep with a bottle of formula/milk, wait til she was good and passed out and then gingerly lay her down, all the while praying she stayed asleep. More recently we have read 3 books in the rocking chair, turned on some soft music, and turned off the lights. She generally points to her crib so we put her in and then leave the room. most of the time she cries for a 1-2 minutes and then is out. So last night I did just that, she stopped crying, so I assumed she was asleep. About 10 minutes later I hear her bedroom door open and she comes running down the hall with a completely smug look on her little face. I put her back in and she climbs right back out, this time nearly dislocating her arms. So out comes the screwdriver, and off comes the front rail. For the next hour, we walk her in put her in bed and leave the room only to have her follow us crying. I tried laying on the floor next to her crib (which I have NO intention of doing on a nightly basis), and she kept jumping out to check on me. She finally petered out around 1015. She slept until 230 at which time she rolled out of bed 3 times. Add to it a rough night with her allergies/asthma, and an incredible thunderstorm and we had a fairly sleepless night. We brought her in our bed (again something I have NO intention of doing again) and we all slept again.

These were taken this morning. She looks pretty happy considering her horrible night of sleep. I mostly took them because she looked so cute in her little outfit, and because when I see this little happy face it makes up for the irritation of last night and the tiredness I feel today.

So looks like I'll be headed to Babies R' Us at lunch for some doorknob cover things. Any other advice is super appreciated. Or at least prayers for a better night tonight.

I'm Back- Take 2

2010-10-02T22:11:00.000-07:00

Ok so I had really good intentions of sticking with this blogging thing. But then I got discouraged because really, who reads this anyway? And I became a facebook addict so I figured why do both. I realize now that facebook is perfect for commitment-phobe/ voyeuristic folks like myself. I can update as little as I want while still reading what everyone else has going on. However, just like casual dating can be fun, in the end, it is not very satisfying. So I turn once again to this blog. My new attitude on this blogging thing is that it's not really about who is reading it but rather what writing it can do for me. I used to love to journal but never make time for it anymore. I think it will be a healthy outlet for me. I also refuse to pressure myself to blog daily or post tons of pics each day, or write long stories when all I have is pics. It will be whatever it is and that's that.

I just spent nearly an hour trying to put a fall face to my blog and now that I'm ready to throw my laptop out the window, I think I will just post a couple pictures for tonight.

Easter Celebration

2010-04-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

So we celebrated Easter with Pat's side of the family on Saturday evening. I wasn't very good at snapping pictures because Pat's dad was doing a great job. So I'll blog with what I have. Anyways, we had a lot of fun visiting with aunts and uncles and cousins. Pat's cousin Reanin and her husband Rory just had a new baby girl 3 weeks ago. Their older daughter Annaliese is about 20 months old, and she and Jenna played very well together. Grandpa Tom and Grandma Shelly bought this covered red wagon for Jenna since they live super close to a beautiful park. Annaliese and Jenna sat in there forever just playing with plastic Easter eggs. It was so sweet. I know this picture is a bit blurry but it's the only one I got with both girls looking up.

It was so sweet to see them giving each other hugs and kisses. Annaliese really wanted to help Jenna with her sippy cup
So of course, Jenna had to return the favor.

So then on Easter Sunday we spent the day with my side of the family. We went to the 9 am church service, which was awesome, and then I served at the 11:00 service. I work every other Sunday in the church nursery and we were expecting a big crowd. The service was huge! We had 212 kids in Kids Connection (nursery-6th grade), and 17 babies in the nursery. Whew....it was a bit tiring. After I finished up at the church, we loaded up the cars and headed to Visalia to spend the day with my mom's cousins. It has become a tradition to go every year and we all look forward to it. We always eat ridiculous amounts of yummy food and have lot's of fun just hanging out. All the kids have tons of fun playing, and Jenna got to get in on it a bit this year. It makes me so happy to celebrate holidays and create traditions for our little family

Ummm...really, I know I'm their mom/auntie, but seriously, could these 3 be any cuter???

Jenna found some eggs and even got them in her basket this year.

Ok, I'm a total mean mommy but I purposely gave my kid a lemonhead and then got the camera ready...you know it's funny...go ahead and laugh

She looks like such a big kid eating her jelly beans with her big cousin Ally

Ok, check out the location of the ball...how do you think this is going to end up?? And no, Nonnie didn't throw the ball at her.

That's my girl. No tears, just has to rub her little head a little. One of these days she's going to realize it's not cool to get hit in the head with the ball. Glad she's shaking it off for now.

It was a wonderful couple days and just makes me realize how truly blessed we are to have so many people that we love, and that love us, to celebrate these very special days with. Hope you all had a great Easter too.

I'm Baaaaaaccckkk

2010-03-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

I'm back...but unfortunately, with very little battery life on my laptop. So I'm thinking I'll just share a couple photos, and then do a little more updating tomorrow. Really, you just want the pics anyways :-)
You know this kid has been sick a lot when she knows what to do with the bulb syringe...AKA boogie sucker.

Jenna sporting her new shades. Her little pug nose barely holds them up...so cute!

Our little foot girl. Here's Jenna and Pat reading her favorite book, which has different bears in it with different textured fur. She loves to pet the bears with her hands, and of course, her feet.

Poor Pat can't get any homework done with this little crazy baby around. She will crawl into your lap regardless of what you are trying to do. She loves attention!

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T21:03:00.000-08:00

So Valentine's Day has always been a holiday that Pat and I enjoy. Our wedding anniversary is February 11th and so we have sort of combined our celebrations the last few years. Well this year we celebrated our anniversary up at Yosemite, which was great. The weather was beautiful and our hotel was very nice. We stayed for one night and my mom stayed with Jenna. When we got home on Friday, my mom told us that Jenna had a bit of a rough night and was coughing a lot. Friday night was the same, and by Saturday night, she was downright sick. She had a fever, and was coughing so much. We used our usual meds and did a breathing treatment, and decided against the ER, figuring they would likely do the same things we were already doing. This morning we headed to urgent care, and after a three hour wait, Jenna was finally seen. She has an ear infection, and an upper respiratory infection. We were given antibiotics, and told to keep doing motrin, a humidifier, and our nebulizer as needed. The doctor didn't swab her for RSV, but said it's likely that she has it. The treatment for that is the same as what we are already doing so I guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, we headed home and put Jenna down for a much needed nap. She slept for about 2 hours in her crib and then woke up crying. She was miserable. Poor baby was shivering and shaking and kept crying out in pain and grabbing for her ear. She wouldn't eat or drink. So pitiful. Within about 45 minutes, she was asleep on Pat's chest, and she slept for another 2 hours there. Her fever keeps spiking and dropping. We are alternating tylenol and motrin. This poor kid can't catch a break.

Daddy makes a very comfy resting place

Our heart-shaped pizza from Me & Eds. So yummy. Jenna was doing a little better by dinner and actually ate a little and tolerated a bath. She's back in her crib and we are hoping for the best for tonight. Thank goodness it's a 3 day weekend.

Superbowl Sunday

2010-02-09T18:55:00.001-08:00

For the last couple years we have enjoyed celebrating the Superbowl with our friends, particularly our friend Abby. Abby grew up in Indianapolis and is thus a die hard Indianapolis Colts fan. Well the Colts made it to the Superbowl this year so it was especially exciting. For Jenna's birthday Abby included an official Payton Manning jersey that she bought in Indiana. So of course, we had to dress Jenna for the occasion.

Seriously...how cute is she??

Daddy and Jenna getting ready for the big game

Mommy, Abby, and Jenna

Jenna thought the crowd was all paying attention to her

The look of defeat....sadly, our team did not win.

And just for fun....can you believe how much she has changed since last year?!

Little Mommy

2010-02-02T19:30:00.001-08:00

Jenna got this baby doll for her first birthday. She has recently started taking an interest in her. She is a hard-body doll because you are supposed to take her in the bath tub with you. She's naked because that's how Jenna prefers it. Anyways, if you tell Jenna to go find the baby she will search for this doll. She was super cute with her tonight and was pointing out all her body parts. Then she took her sippy cup of water and offered it to the dolly. How do they know?? So cute if you ask me

She's a Climber

2010-01-27T21:13:00.000-08:00

I totally should have seen this coming. Somehow, I was still surprised. This evening I was folding laundry on the couch while Jenna played with her toys in the family room. I walked back to our bedroom to put everything into the drawers, which took maybe 45 seconds. I come back out and Jenna was no longer in the family room. I walk into the kitchen to find her like this...
Of course, being the wonderfully responsible parent that I am, I grab my camera rather than take her off the chair. She then proceeds to stand up.

There's always time for a squinchy face...Now climbing into her friend Jordan's hook-on chair, which she loves

She made it into the chair, and then climbed back into a standing position in the hook-on chair, at which time I set the camera down and grabbed her.

What a little monkey. How long do you think we have before we visit the ER?

Operation Failed

2010-01-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, call me whatever names you want. We are back to bottles. Jenna wants nothing to do with milk in any kind of cup, and I am not comfortable with cutting milk out of her diet. Yes she does eat yogurt and some cheese but not on a daily basis. In fact, Jenna isn't terribly consistent about anything. Some days she eats regular table food pretty well, and other days she hardly eats anything. The one thing I could always count on was her naptime and bedtime bottles. So, as April put it, I am sucking it up and giving in.

Here's what I have learned...

Jenna is VERY stubborn, and Pat is definitely not, so I'm thinking this may be my fault.
Don't post things like this on facebook or the blog until the mission is complete. Otherwise, you get to look like a big dummy when it fails.
There are no clear cut timelines or rules for babies or parenting. Sometimes you just have to do what works for your family. I'm not sure why it has taken me 14 months and 1 day to figure this out.
She's only going to be little for a short time and as long as I don't send her to kindergarten with a baby bottle or binky, I'm going to slow my roll and let her be.

Thank you all for your advice and opinions...it won't be the last time I solicit them. Now, I can't just do a post with no pictures so I'm posting a few pictures of my Project Life album. These are really bad pictures but I have a dark house and I'm just tired. Anyways, here it is

HELP!!!

2010-01-24T21:07:00.001-08:00

Ok...quick update. We decided to start operation bye bye bottles this weekend. Jenna doesn't seem to miss her bottles at all. The problem is she hasn't had any milk since friday. We tried the soft spout sippy cups, the hard spout ones, ones with handles, ones without handles, the straw kind, and tonight I went out and bought the Take and toss ones that April suggested. She absolutely refuses to drink anything except water from any of them. So mommies, I need advice. What should I do?? I looked online and in some of pediatric medical books, and she needs to be drinking 12-16 ounces a day. HELP!

These pictures have nothing to do with this post, just thought they'd liven it up a bit

Jenna smiling enough so that you can see she actually does have top teeth. She's actually cutting her 10th tooth right now!

Jenna sleeping the other night. We've never seen her sleep on her back before. She's bent in an L-shape in the corner, and it just made me smile.

Bye Bye Bottles

2010-01-20T15:27:00.000-08:00

So it seems the time has come to ditch the baby bottles. Our pediatrican prefers that bottles disappear at a year, and while I kept that in mind, I figured we'd just see how things play out. Well, I think it's now time, for a few reasons.

First of all, our bottles need to be replaced. We used to be really good and wash them all by hand, but inevitably the laziness set in and we started to put them in the dishwasher. Well the darn bottles have sort of melted. Not to the point where they look that bad, just to the point that the collar and nipple no longer fits securely. So, they leak. All the freaking time.

Second, Jenna is a rascal. She has never been very easy to feed. At daycare, she hardly drinks her bottles at all, and only will if they let her do it herself in the baby swing (hello...how does that big girl even fit in a baby swing. Ours has been put away for months).

Third, she pushes away her nighttime bottle. She wants her binky and to be rocked, and that's it. Since everyone says that's the hardest bottle to get rid of, and she already started the process, we might as well go with it.

So, here's the dilemma. Jenna has been using a sippy cup since about 6 months for water. She has never had anything else out of the sippy cup. When I have tried to put milk in one she took one sip, and handed it back to me. When I tried to put juice in (for constipation), she took one sip and handed it back to me. So, on the recommendation from some other mommy friends, I went out and bought the soft spout sippy cups to use as a transition between bottle and normal sippy. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is going to work. Wish us luck!

The Closet

2010-01-19T09:18:00.000-08:00

The little goofball is at it again. Jenna has decided that it is really fun to sit in the back corner of her closet. Anytime we are in her room, she gets back in that corner and stares at us. Pat chases her back there and she shrieks and laughs. Then when we want to leave the room, she refuses to come out of the closet and sits back there and shakes her head at us. Little rascal.

sick again

2010-01-16T16:27:00.000-08:00

Well if you can possibly believe it, Jenna is sick again. She has a terrible stomach flu, and is just not herself. As of Friday afternoon, 7 of the 9 babies in her daycare room are sick with this bug. How is that possible?? It most be a strong flu bug. So anyways, she has been vomiting and has horrible diarrhea. She won't drink anything...and I have tried it all, sippy cups, real cups with straws, bottles, filled with water, milk, juice, pedialyte, gatorade, and combinations of the above. She won't have any of it. And the only thing she has had to eat is a few pieces of cereal and a few vanilla wafers. I'm concerned but trying to have the faith that she will get better and we won't have to go to the hospital. She's usually so active and busy and she has been laying around all day just watching barney and cuddling in our laps. Say a prayer for us if you can, that Jenna's sweet little body will heal soon.Yeah...she fell asleep like this, feet dangling and all. So pitiful

Preview: Jenna...the teen years

2010-01-14T20:51:00.001-08:00

I couldn't resist posting this picture despite the really awful quality/lighting. Jenna loves to play with my phone and she loves being up on the couch. Put those together, and you get the lounging/texting teenager image. She cracks me up.

crazy baby

2010-01-04T13:16:00.001-08:00

This isn't exactly how this toy was intended to be played with

So proud of herself

Seriously??!! I can't hardly get this kid to sit in the real grocery cart and she wants to sit in this one. And no this isn't staged, she climbed in there all by herself.

what a goofball

white flag

2010-01-02T22:29:00.001-08:00

Ok....I surrender. My white flag is up. Seriously, we have been having some bad luck with sicky germs around here. It all started back in mid November when Jenna had that horrendous case of viral croup. Pat then got bronchitis, and just about missed Thanksgiving. Then I got a cold which turned into bronchitis. Then Jenna seems to have another cold but also cuts four teeth in a week so who knows if it's actually a cold or not. Then I get a sinus infection right before Christmas. Starting Christmas day, Jenna starts having some stomach issues, which get so bad she clears the room at my mom's Christmas celebration. We take her in and it turns out she has bacterial croup (and oh by the way, asthma), as well as a yeast infection in her intestines. Ummmm...hello?? what??

So we try to take all this in stride. Antibiotics and anti-yeast medications will take care of her infections, and asthma is really manageable and she may even outgrow it. So New Years Eve rolls around and I am super excited to organize our spare bedroom, which has affectionately been named the hoarder room. We get a great start and all is going well until I decide to take a break and unload the dishwasher. As I'm loading my plates into the cupboard, and I bend down to reach for more dishes, the shelf decides to break and all my dishes come crashing down. 4 broken plates, 6 broken bowls, 4 stitches (in my arm), and 1 tetanus shot later....you get the idea. Sometime the next day I start to feel kind of icky. Like whole body aches, chills, headache, and bad stomach pain. I looked on google and found out that it could be a side effect of the tetanus shot. It's now 1045 pm on the 2nd and I have spent all day on the couch or in the bathroom. I have overcome the body aches, but I can't keep any food down. So the upside of this is that it's a great way to jumpstart my new diet. The downside is Jenna walked around for the greater part of today with her onesie hanging out of her pants like shirt-tails because her daddy kept "forgetting to snap it" during diaper changes. Oh well...she didn't really seem to mind. So I must say that I'm hoping that the rest of 2010 will be a little easier.

New Skills

2009-12-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

Jenna has become quite the little climber. She loves being on the couch but we don't really let her up too often because she jumps around too much. So she has started trying to think of her own ways to get up on the couch. I caught her in the act....

Hmmm....maybe if I give mommy my cutest squinch, she won't be mad

I just love this pic of my sweet girl in her special Christmas jammies

This is a picture of Jenna on Christmas morning with her new gift, which she absolutely loves. She did push it over to the couch, climb in the open door, out the window on the opposite side, and onto the couch. The car is now outside where it belongs. What a goofball

Jenna Meet Santa

2009-12-20T21:50:00.000-08:00

Jenna totally loved Santa!!! I know...I'm shocked too. We took her to go see Santa today and she did awesome! We had to wait in a small line and so Pat stood in line and I took Jenna to watch as the other kids sat on his lap. She smiled at Santa, squinched at Santa, and even blew kisses to Santa. I was still convinced it would be all fun and games until she actually had to sit with Santa. But Jenna surprised both of us and was completely fine with the whole thing. She smiled at him and didn't try to squirm away from him, and even smiled for the photo. What a precious girl she is. We are having so much fun with her right now.

Ugly Sweater Party

2009-12-17T21:34:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm another year older....29 to be exact. And I happen to share my birthday with our close friend Brian. So in honor of both our birthdays, we decided to have an ugly Christmas sweater party. It turned out to be really fun, and as you can tell...pretty ugly.

busy little bee

2009-12-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

Seriously, this girl is into everything!! I was unloading the dishwasher the other day, and I turned around to put something away, and this is what I found when I turned back around. What a little stinker! She is a little climber. She is desperate to climb up onto the couch and she now pushes her toys over to the couch to assist in that task. I'll have to catch her doing that with the camera too because it's pretty funny. I'm just hoping she doesn't figure out how to climb out of her crib.

Jenna's Birthday Weekend

2009-12-06T21:30:00.001-08:00

Alright, well this post is a tad late but oh well. Last weekend we celebrated Jenna's birthday with a party at our tiny little house. We invited more people than could fit in our home and it was essentially like trying to fit 10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound bag. We were lucky that the weather cooperated and so we were able to put some people in our back yard. We are so lucky to have so many people that care about us and wanted to celebrate our sweet baby girl. Unfortunately, I didn't spend a lot of time taking pictures, and I had very few to post.

Our little family
Jenna and her cousins

Daddy helping Jenna with her cupcake

Jenna went face first!!

Yummy!!

Sweet girls

The aftermath

The cleanup

On Sunday, we had Jenna's baby dedication at our church. Somehow, we managed to let an entire year pass before having her dedication done. Lesson learned on that one. The next kid will be dedicated in the early months. Jenna was a total rascal up on stage. Like a serious little rascal. She couldn't decide if she wanted mommy or daddy and so she kept hopping back and forth until Pat finally handed her over to our pastor, which Jenna took surprisingly well. She was a bit of a fuss, and I think we will definitely dedicate the next child much earlier. Anyways, it was a very special day for our family and we were so glad to have Jason and Joanna, Jenna's Godparents, present for her dedication.

Happy Birthday Jenna!!!

2009-11-24T22:08:00.000-08:00

Is it really possible that our sweet baby girl is really a year old??? It sounds so cliche but I really can't believe how fast this last year has gone. It has been so fun and so amazing to have this wonderful little creature in our lives. I'll post some Jenna updates tomorrow after our 1-year check-up, but for now, here's some pictures from Jenna's day.

Checking out her birthday cupcake

Yeah...I'd say she likes it

Jenna and her two big cousins, Paige and Ally

Self-portrait with my sweet baby

The three sweetest little girls I've ever seen!!!

Seriously????

2009-11-16T21:41:00.000-08:00

Yup...that's a picture of our latest purchase...Jenna's new nebulizer.
We had a bit of a rough weekend around here. Jenna started coughing during the middle of the night on Friday night. It was that super hoarse, barky type of cough. She had a very restless night, although we were still able to sleep fairly well. Saturday she didn't seem quite as perky as usual and still had the cough, but no other symptoms. The middle of the night was similar to Friday night. Sunday, she was a precious, sweet natured baby, with the horrible cough. Sunday night, it all went downhill fast. She was wheezing, coughing, and showing signs of respiratory distress. I knew it was likely croup, and we had many moments where we almost packed her up and headed for the hospital. The on-call pediatrician recommended taking her out into the cold night air, and trying to keep her as calm and comfortable as possible. Yeah, right. Pat and Jenna were up most of the night. I didn't sleep well at all, but luckily Pat did most of the getting up because I had to work today.

Our pediatrician is so awesome and he always manages to squeeze his patients in when they need to be seen. Pat took her in and our Dr. confirmed that it was in fact croup, and that it doesn't get any worse than Jenna's case. He gave her a breathing treatment in the office, which she hated, and prescribed some medications for her. One of the medications has to be given by the nebulizer, and so we had to buy one. Jenna screamed bloody murder tonight when I tried to give her the treatment so I ended up rocking her to sleep and then treating her after. What a long and tiring day. We are hoping to get some more sleep tonight and hoping our baby gets well soon.

Lazy evening watching TV with mommy

Not feeling so hot. Oh and notice the red mark and bruised forehead. Early Sunday morning, Jenna tripped and hit her face on our dresser....awesome, huh?

Smiling while watching The Wiggles.

First Zoo Trip

2009-11-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

Today was an awesome day. With the schools all closed for Veterans Day, Pat didn't have to work, and I took the morning off. We decided to take Jenna to the zoo for the first time. When we took her to the fair, she totally loved all the farm animals, and she loves looking at books with pictures of animals. I wasn't sure what she'd think of the zoo if anything at all, but she really seemed to have fun. She was super giggly all day and kept laughing at all the animals. For whatever reason, she seemed to like the camel, the bear, and the elephants the best. Here are some pictures from our day.

Jenna laughing with Daddy

Smiling and laughing at the brown bear

I told you she was giggly!

Funny story...Pat is holding on to her in this pic because the first time we set her down she promptly ran straight toward me and had her first run in with a step

She wouldn't look at me...so enthralled with the elephants

Daddy Phase

2009-11-10T21:18:00.000-08:00

Jenna is in a total daddy phase. She is so clingy with Pat, and is just all about daddy right now. She follows him everywhere and wants to be held by him all the time. It's really pretty sweet. This is the second major daddy phase, and the first one was a little hard on me. She seemed to really prefer him to me and it lasted a long time. This time I'm handling it much better. Pat is in school right now and so he often has to shut himself away in the office to study. Poor Jenna just doesn't understand why Daddy needs this time to himself and she spent all day Saturday glued to the door of his office. She literally stands outside the door and bangs on it with her face pressed up against the glass until Pat turns around and/or comes out. Pat, of course, can hardly resist this sweet baby girl.

Pumpkin Painting

2009-11-05T20:53:00.001-08:00

So I was trying to think of a way to get Jenna involved in the whole pumpkin decorating thing, and I knew there was no way that she could actually carve one, and so came the idea of painting. I figured she might have fun using finger paints, and boy was I right. She loved it! She loves to squish her food in her hands and in between her fingers, and she loved to do the same with the paint. I bought non-toxic, children's paint because I knew she'd try to taste it, and luckily she decided it was pretty gross. Anyways, it was so fun to watch her get so dirty. I ended up with quite a bit of paint on me as well but it was so worth it.

Halloween...finally!

2009-11-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

Ready to go trick or treating!

Allright, allright....here are some Halloween pictures. Just to be clear though, none of these pictures are on facebook yet. Anyways, I have a ton of really crappy pictures that I attempted to take of Jenna in her costume. Thankfully, I also have a few really cute ones that our photographer took for free! I'm sure you can tell the difference

Impossible to Photograph

2009-10-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

Seriously...she is impossible to photograph. I try and try to get the perfect picture of her and it just doesn't happen. I end up with 600 pictures of the side/back/top of her head. And while I dearly love her squinchy smile, she is now doing it every time she sees the camera. The pics below are some examples of what I'm talking about. It will be interesting to see what happens when we do her 1 year pics in a few weeks.

Alright, so once in awhile, I get lucky....

Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

We took Jenna to the pumpkin patch for the first time today. It was so much fun and she loved walking all around looking at the pumpkins, scarecrows, and hay bales. Here's a bunch of pictures from our day.

Enough pictures already...let's go!!

Happy girl close up

Jenna and our close friend Brian

So much fun touching all the pumpkins

This pic is a bit blurry, but Jenna was so excited, she was squealing with delight

Cute little pumpkin girl!

And, of course, the squinchy face on our way home

11 Months!!

2009-10-24T10:01:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe but our baby is 11 months old! I say it all the time, but I can't believe how fast this is going. It doesn't seem possible that in just one short month, we will be celebrating Jenna's first birthday. She is just such a joy and I wish I could freeze time right now. I spent so much time wishing the days away (when she was going through reflux and colic), and I feel like it took me a long time to settle into motherhood. I just love her so, so much and being her mom is the most amazing thing. She is so much fun and her little personality is adorable. She is feisty and impatient like her mommy and sweet and cuddly like her daddy. She is so curious and inquisitive and is so active, there is never a dull moment over here.

At 11 months Jenna is:

About 23 pounds, and 31 inches
Wearing size 12-18 month clothing
In size 4 diapers
Wearing size 5.5 shoes
Walking and getting faster every day
Saying "DaDa" and "that"
Pointing at everything and saying "that" and waiting for us to tell her what it is
Giving hugs and kisses
Pretty much over her stranger anxiety
Mostly sleeping through the night
Still only sporting two teeth
Feeding herself, except for when she has yogurt
Eating about 24-28 ounces of formula a day
A huge fan of patty-cake
Not such a big fan of dogs
Still a water baby
Still a bit of a pill in the carseat
Getting into EVERYTHING
Dancing whenever she hears music
The joy in our hearts!!

Changing Times

2009-10-22T22:18:00.001-07:00

Things are really changing around here. Jenna got to go shopping last weekend and get her first pair of shoes...thanks Nonnie!! Anyways, she actually got two pairs but so far she has only worn these tennis shoes. She is starting to get used to walking in shoes, but there was a definite learning curve, i.e. it took 15 minutes to walk to the mailbox which is right in front of our house. I'll definitely have to post a picture of Jenna actually wearing the shoes because it's pretty darn cute. She just looks like such a big kid when she's running around the house in shoes. Hard to believe she is almost a year old already.

Into Everything!!!

2009-10-05T20:56:00.001-07:00

This girl has figured out how to get around and how to get into everything!!! Seriously, now that Jenna is walking she seems to have noticed how much she can get into. We can't leave her alone for even a second. I spent a fair amount of time childproofing this weekend but there's so much left.
The coffee table drawer is a definite favorite of Jenna's....

Because, of course, there are remote controls in there!

Another favorite is the television. Jenna turns it on and off and changes the channels.

Jenna pulling the clean laundry off the couch as I'm trying to fold it....

so she can roll around in it.

Hmmm....more drawers to investigate

So happy with all her new found freedom!!

Walking, a fever, and a squinch

2009-09-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well, Jenna has begun taking steps independently. She hasn't figured out how to stand up without holding on to something, though she does try. But once she is standing up, she will walk to her toys or the couch or whoever happens to be in the room. It's so amazing to see her little body walking across the room. She falls down quite a bit but it usually doesn't faze her much. She still prefers crawling if she is in a hurry because she is such a fast crawler but you can tell she's pretty proud of herself for walking.
This weekend was pretty rough around here. Jenna woke up Saturday morning at 5am with a fever. We gave her some Tylenol and it worked for a couple hours but then her temp just went right back up. I wasn't overly concerned because she seemed fine and was still playing and eating. Saturday night her temp was about 102 and so we called the pediatrician. He said to switch to Motrin and call him if it went to 104 or if Jenna seemed much worse. It was a little bit of a rough night but we didn't have to call him back. Sunday, she still played a little in the morning, but once she woke up from her nap she was burning up and very unhappy. Her temp was 104 and the pediatrician told us to head to urgent care. Her ears and throat checked out okay and they said it is a respiratory virus and to watch for signs of pneumonia. Poor Jenna was so miserable. We began rotating the Tylenol and Motrin and did tepid baths (pure torture). Finally around 3am this morning the fever broke. Poor baby was sweating and shivering. I sat up with her for a couple hours and she finally went back to bed. She seems a little out of sorts today but so much better than yesterday.

So the squinch is the nickname we gave for Jenna's new cheesy grin. In fact, if you tell her to do the squinch, she will give you this cute little smile. I absolutely LOVE it and melt every time she does it.

And finally, Jenna's newest baby trick is blowing bubbles in the bath. She doesn't actually blow bubbles, but she puts her little face down in the water. She's actually giving the water "lovies" or kisses. It started because I asked her to give me lovies and she put her face in the water. She does it every night now and is so proud of herself when we cheer her on.

I Love Weekends!

2009-09-13T21:55:00.001-07:00

We had a perfect weekend here at our house this weekend. On Saturday we stayed home in our pajamas all day long. Pat had homework and so Jenna and I stayed in our pjs and played with all her toys. It was so much fun and she is so darn sweet. She was so easy and fun this weekend, she makes me want to have 10 kids. There are definitely other times when I think she may end up an only child....just kidding (mostly). Anyways, this weekend she was so perfect. So on Sunday, we got out and went to church and lunch with our friends and then ran some errands. We ended up at Babies R Us....we were supposed to be buying new jammies and diaper sacks, when we decided to go look for a new toy for Jenna. We haven't really bought her any big toys and she seems so bored with her current toys, so we decided to get her this farm animal toy. Its seriuosly cute and has a barn door that Jenna crawls through. She can also stand up and play with it which she loves. This toy was a big hit with Jenna and it kept her busy the rest of the afternoon and evening. We even got to eat dinner like a normal couple while she played in the family room. Here's a few pics from our weekend.

Then & Now

2009-09-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Mommy & Jenna 5/09

Mommy & Jenna 9/09Hard to believe she has changed so much in 4 months. I don't quite realize it until I looked back. She is so much fun, and it just keeps getting better!!

Random Stuff

2009-09-03T21:25:00.001-07:00

So, it's been awhile since I posted and to be honest it's been awhile since we've taken many new pictures. I know, we are horrible parents. Jenna is nearly impossible to photograph because she never holds still. Consequently, most pictures are blurry or are of the back of her head. We have used our new video camera but I am vowing to start taking more photos. Anyways, the first one was from the other night and Jenna was just being so darn sweet. I love her chubby little face and the funny expression on her face.

This picture cracks me up. Pat generally dresses Jenna each day, especially on week days. Anyways, this shirt says "Daddy's Girl." Jenna returned home from daycare like this. Her daycare provider is Stephanye and she and Jenna just love each other. I love knowing that Stephanye takes such good care of Jenna and gives her so much attention and affection while she is away from us.

And finally, perhaps the best picture of all...Jenna sleeping on the changing table. This picture is from the other evening. After work, Jenna and I ran to Target for a few things. I could tell she was tired and so I tried to be fast. As we were driving home, she really started to get sleepy in the car. Once we got home, I set her down to change her diaper and clothes and as soon as I set her down, she flipped over, stuck her butt in the air, and fell fast asleep. She was seriously exhausted. She was not too pleased when I woke her up to put her pjs on!

As for what's new....

I have been at my new job for exactly 1 month and I absolutely, whole heartedly LOVE it!!! It is 5 days a week now but I never have to worry about another weekend or holiday.
I also get 60-90 minute lunch breaks everyday, and I am getting to work with one of my best friends, Erica.
Pat is working away at his credential. He is substitute teaching for Clovis Unified this year and has a couple long term jobs lined up. He has really loved some of his classes and is super excited to be done.
Jenna is doing well. She had a cold, which then turned into Roseola, but she recovered quickly. She is all over the house and into everything. Seriously, some days she exhausts us. She is standing independently, and has even taken a few steps, but then usually falls. She is seriously a tough kid, she falls and hits her head so much and rarely ever cries. She is having some definite stranger and separation anxiety. She gets very anxious when new people come around, or people she hasn't seen in awhile. Honestly, I'll be excited when that stage passes. At her 9 month appointment, she was 20.5 pounds and 29 inches tall. She is such a funny and busy little baby and we are having an absolute blast watching her grow.

Ferber vs. Focker Round 2

2009-07-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

This will likely be long and boring, but it's one of the posts that's hopefully going to be therapeutic for me

We have regressed in the worst way over here at our house. Somehow at 8 months Jenna is not sleeping through the night. I'm not sure when things unraveled, but they definitely did and we are in need of a change.

The current situation has been that we do bathtime and then feed Jenna a bottle in her rocking chair. We then give her the binky and rock her until she is sound asleep, at which time we sneak her into the crib. She usually sleeps for about an hour and then starts fussing. Generally speaking if we run in right away and put her binky back in she falls right back to sleep. This happens on and off throughout the night. Sometimes she finds the binky on her own and puts it back in. Then a few weeks ago, she started eating in the middle of the night again. She usually wakes between 3-4 am and will eat 7 ounces. Then she wakes for the day anytime between 5:30-6:30 am. Needless to say, the interrupted sleep has made both Jenna and mommy cranky.

So after a lot of careful consideration and research, we have decided to return to our dear old friend Dr. Ferber. His book is really interesting and really explains a lot about infant sleep patterns and parental mistakes, of which we made a lot. We have also decided that the binky is going away. Jenna only uses it at naptime and bedtime and on long car rides. We truly feel that the pacifier is sabotaging her sleep as she never falls into a deep enough sleep, and then spends so much time fussing and looking for it. We are using an interval method, where we put her down awake and then leave the room, and we check on her at progressively longer intervals.

Monday night was the first night. We put her down, checked her 3 minutes later, then 5 minutes later, then 7 minutes later and then 10 minutes later. She cried for 28 minutes before falling asleep. It was really rough. When she woke up at 2:00 am, I fed her 5 ounces instead of 7, which she didn't seem to notice, and then put her back to bed. She went right back to sleep.

Tuesday morning she woke up at 6:45, which was awesome! At 9:00 I put her down for her first nap. She cried for 12 minutes and then went to sleep for 2 hours. Then at 2:30 pm we put her down again and she again cried for 12 minutes and then slept for 2 hours. We had an awesome evening out celebrating Pat's birthday and then started our bedtime routine. This time we started our intervals at 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. She cried for about 30 minutes and then slept until 5:45 this morning, skipping her middle of the night feeding.

I'm so torn between doing what I think is best for her and giving in and doing what makes my heart feel good. It's so hard to hear her cry and to know how sad she is in her bed all alone. On the other hand, I want her to learn how to fall asleep on her own. I cannot be the mom who is laying in bed every night with my preschooler until they fall asleep. I will be starting my 5 days a week job on monday and I can't spend 2-3 hours a night trying to get Jenna to stay asleep in her bed. As for the binky, I feel slightly bad about taking it away except that for the last few days and nights, she has slept so much better without it. She NEVER takes 2 hour naps, and all of her naps since ditching the binky have been 2 hours. Also, even though she cried before falling asleep the last few nights, she slept soundly once she was out. She still wakes up happy from her naps and in the morning. She still plays in her crib for a good 15-20 minutes each morning while waiting for us. She seems totally fine. I'm angry with myself for not taking care of this earlier, while she was still younger. If we had just stuck to the plan before, and hadn't chickened out, we wouldn't be going through this right now. I'm determined to stick with it this time and not put Jenna through this process again. I know this was super long but it really helps me to get it out and see it in writing. Wish us luck

8 Months!!!

2009-07-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

How is it possible that our baby is 8 months old??? I really can't believe it. Time is literally flying by. It's been awhile since I last posted and I don't really have an explanation for why other than laziness on my part. Jenna seems to be changing daily and we are having an absolute ball with her. At 8 months Jenna is/has:

About 20 pounds
Wearing size 6-12 months
Wearing size 3 diapers
Eating 3 meals a day with 3-4 bottles throughout
Drinking water from a sippy cup
Learned to drink from a straw
Starting to wave (although only at other babies and her daddy)
Starting to give kisses (always to her glow worm, occasionally to her parents....go figure)
Crawling all over the place
Pulling herself up to a standing position using anything and everything including the walls
Cruising all around the furniture
Back to fussing in the car seat (GRRRR!! Drives me crazy)
Blowing tons of raspberries (including when she has a mouth full of food)
Nearly impossible to bathe as she is all over the tub, rolling, crawling, and trying to stand up, which means nightly head bonks.
Very tough...she rarely cries when she falls down or hits her head.
Still experiencing stranger anxiety
Our little sunshine and the joy in our hearts

Seriously cute chubby baby legs

One of our favorite new outfits!!

This is one of the only pictures I have where you can see Jenna's cute little tooth.

A Bunch of Firsts

2009-06-22T15:55:00.000-07:00

Well Sunday was a day of firsts here at our house. It was of course Pat's first Father's Day. We let him sleep in and then when he woke up we went and had breakfast with my Dad, Jason, Paige and Ally. Jenna did a great job of playing in the high chair at the restaurant which we appreciated.

After breakfast we decided to take Jenna to the park for the first time. She loved the swing and I swear we could have stayed there all day. She went down one of the baby slides also, but we had to hold on of course. Jenna is lucky I learned a lesson about slides with her big cousin Paige...now I know to hold on. The park we went to has a batting cage right by the little kid playground. Pat used to play baseball and it had been awhile since he hit, but you'd never know it. He was pretty good, and it was fun to watch him. It brought back a lot of memories. After the park, we headed home so miss Jenna could take a nap. After her nap, we were playing with her toys on the floor and she started to crawl!!! I was so excited. She has been scooting around and rolling to get where she wants to go, but she officially did hands and knees crawling. It's SO much fun watching her learn new things. I of course didn't get good pictures of her crawling the first time and the video I got of her wouldn't load for some reason so I'll have to try again soon. I used our regular camera to take the video and it's just not great quality. So we have decided that it is time to get ourselves a video camera. We are going to do a little research and then hopefully I'll be posting videos in no time.

The other big thing Jenna decided to do on Father's day is shown below. We went in after her nap when we heard her playing and this is what we found.

Jenna has learned to pull herself to a standing position. So today, I lowered the crib to the lowest setting. Her mobile has a warning sticker that says it should be removed when the baby learns to stand up, so it had to come down. I was kind of sad about that but we can save it for the next baby. Anyways, that was a long post. We are so excited to share all of our first's. Jenna is changing so fast and I'm just trying to enjoy every second.

Silly Girl

2009-06-03T21:41:00.001-07:00

I was super excited tonight when I got off work because my Jenna was still awake. Apparently she took a 3 hour nap this afternoon which ended around 530 pm. So, needless to say, she wasn't really ready for bed by her usual 7 pm bedtime. Anyways, I got to spend about an hour or so playing with her. She was in such a good mood and so fun.

Jenna hung out with Daddy today while I worked. She LOVES her daddy and they have so much fun playing together. Today they both stayed in their pajamas all day! Talk about jealous. Anyways, Pat is so great and on my work days, he always takes pictures of Jenna throughout the day to show me what they did all day. Sometimes he even e-mails during the day so I get to see her. So here's a pic from her day with daddy.

By the way....Jenna FINALLY started sleeping through the night this week...WOOOOHOOOO!!!

The Worst Mom Ever!

2009-05-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the long post...I'm hoping this will be therapeutic for me

Well, yesterday I had one of those worst mom ever days. The moms out there know exactly what I'm talking about. No matter what you do, it's just wrong. It all started around 730 in the morning when she woke up. Jenna has started waking up soaked in the morning and so I got the great idea to try night-time diapers. We usually use Pampers Swaddlers, but the night-time diapers are made by Huggies. I didn't think it would matter. WRONG. Jenna woke up with the worst diaper rash ever! Like seriously bad. She didn't seem too bothered by it though. We loaded her up with Desitin and went about our morning.

So then it's around 9:00 when the second incident occurred. Our house is mostly tile floors which I'm beginning to HATE. Anyways, Jenna was sitting there playing, and I was right there so I could catch her if she fell over, but I took one second to rub my sleepy eyes, and of course, in that second, she fell over. She hit her head so hard, and she immediately started screaming. She cried so hard that she was silent, as in hold your breath silent. I immediately picked her up, burst into tears myself, and we both sat there crying for a good few minutes. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. I know what you're all thinking...suck it up, but it was really bad.

Jenna went to Dermers for a couple hours while I got a few things done that I needed to do. I'm working wednesday and thursday, and going out of town friday, so it was my only time. Anyways, all went well at Dermers but when she got home and I changed her diaper, I noticed the rash looked even worse. This time Jenna cried when I wiped her. Then of course we took her to the doctor. I felt like the worst mom as I sat there with my child and told him of her head bonk and then showed him the diaper rash. He reassured me that I was not the worst mom, and that Jenna would in fact survive. This did little to make me feel better. Then she got her 4 shots and cried like she had earlier when she hit her head and I, of course, cried again. Sadly, Jenna stopped crying before I did.

Once we got home and I took her diaper off, I was horrified. Her bottom is red and even a deep purple. There are two long spots on either cheek where the skin looked like it had peeled off and was oozing. She cried so much when I was trying to clean her. I bet you can guess who else was crying. So we did naked time for awhile and then used the Aveeno diaper rash stuff which our Ped recommended. We change her frequently throughout the day, at least hourly, and so does Dermers. Last night, we changed her during the middle of the night when she woke up for a feeding. This morning it looked slightly better, but it's still pretty bad.

So, needless to say, it was kind of a rough day for Jenna yesterday. I'm still feeling pretty crappy and emotional about it all, but I logically know that she will be fine, and I'm probably not the worst mom ever. Sorry there are no pictures, but there will be on the next post.

6 Months (and 2 days)

2009-05-25T20:19:00.001-07:00

Pat and I cannot believe our baby is already 6 months old. That's half of a year. It's crazy how fast these first six months have gone. I think because of being in school it went even faster. I'm beyond thrilled to just focus on Jenna now that school is done. More about graduation in another post. But anyways, back to Jenna. Our internet has been a little sketchy the last few days so that's why this post is 2 days late. Oh well, it's actually better since we had her 6 month checkup today so now I have the official measurements as well.

The doctor's visit went pretty well. He was impressed with her sitting skills and with her rocking on all fours. He told us we can start giving her cheerios and those Gerber puff things, as well as pasta and potatoes. Poor baby got 4 shots again this visit and she cried so hard that I cried with her. I made Pat hold her down this time since I've done it the past two times. Next visit is at 9 months and it will be shot-free....Thank God!

So....at 6 months Jenna is:

17 pounds 13 ounces (75%), and 27 inches long (95%)
Wearing 6-9 month clothing, or 6-12 months if it's Gymboree :-)
Wearing size 2-3 diapers (only pampers by the way, we just figured out she is allergic to Huggies...ugh, terrible reaction)
Eating 25-30 ounces of formula a day
Eating a variety of fruits and vegetables, although she hates all the green veggies
Using a sippy cup to drink water
Sitting up and rolling all over like a champ
Getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth, and then screaming when she doesn't go anywhere
Still loving her nightly bath, and she has become a major splasher
A much better car traveler, i.e. no more screaming bloody murder
Loving her jumperoo, she goes nuts in it!
Putting everything in her mouth, and drooling more than I ever thought possible
Loving animal sounds, Daddy does the best ones
Throwing her pacifier out of the crib in protest when she doesn't want to go to sleep
Still not sleeping through the entire night. She goes down by 7pm and wakes up between 6-7 am, and eats once during the night
Blowing razberries
Still in love with mommy's hair, although no longer a fan of the hairdryer.
Starting to get ticklish, and daddy gets major laughs by tickling this girl
More interested in Baby Einstein DVDs, especially Baby Mozart and Baby Noah
Loving storytime. Her new favorites include It's Spring, Barnyard Dance, and Dr Seuss stories
The absolute sweetest little baby and the joy in our hearts.

Everything is Done!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-19T22:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I am officially done with all course work for my graduate degree. I finished tonight around 1015 and I'm still shocked and giddy about it. I never have to study or do homework again!! I've spent about 22 years of my life in school, and it's finally over! I'm so very excited about all that is to come.

So since I knew I'd finish my homework tonight, I decided to keep Jenna home today so we could spend some time together. She has been going to daycare a lot lately because of my work schedule and all my homework. I've been seriously missing her. So she stayed home and we played and played. Papa came over and we went to Lowes to pick up some new outlets and light switches for our house. Ours are so old and loose and all our plugs constantly fall out. So anyways, Jenna went down for a nap, and my dad and I went to work on the project. We got a ton done and we are finishing up tomorrow. This self-portrait was taking today while we played.

Here's a couple pictures of Jenna showing off her new sitting up skills. She is seriously good at it now. However, our tile living room with the thin carpet is so not good for falling over. She smacked her head hard the other day and totally cried. I don't want to be one of those over-protective moms but seriously I can't stand her hitting her head. When she falls in her bedroom on the carpet, she never cries. Anyways, she is sitting there watching her new Baby Noah DVD, which she loves. She is seriously trying to figure out how to become more mobile. She is rolling everywhere but it's like she knows there must be a better way. She gets on all fours and rocks back and forth, and she moves her knees, but hasn't figured out to move her hands so she ends up face planting. I can tell it's coming soon though.

And just so you don't think we are total heathens, I've included a picture of her with all her clothes on. It was over 100 degrees that day and Jenna had drooled all over her top.

WOOOHOOO!!!! Finally Finished!

2009-05-15T23:49:00.001-07:00

Ok first of all can I just say...my project is done!!! 50 pages later, and it is done. Seriously, it is a huge weight off my shoulders. I still have a take home final to finish and some hours to chart, but it's nothing compared to the work of that paper.

Anyways, I thought I'd post a picture of my Mother's Day gift. I LOVE it and it's even cuter in person. Jenna's hands and feet already don't fit in the mold. It's so crazy how fast she is changing. Check back tomorrow night for some pictures of her and some updates. I'm off to sleep, hopefully peacefully.

No....I'm not done with my project yet

2009-05-09T21:44:00.001-07:00

So I'm still not done with my project but I only have one more chapter and the powerpoint left. We went to a birthday party today for our friend's daughter, Jordan who turned 1. It was so much fun to see our friends, and they were so excited to see Jenna. Anyways, we decided to try out the swing and Jenna loved it!! She sat in it for about 30 minutes and then later she got back in it, and she swung until she fell asleep. I have to figure out where we could hang one in our yard. The second picture is Jenna showing off her latest trick....sitting up! She is still a little wobbly and we've had some head bonks, but she's really getting good at it. She's checking out one of her favorite books, Barnyard Dance. She is really happy playing on the floor now. We throw a bunch of toys on her blanket and she rolls all around and plays. It's so much fun to lay with her and watch her explore. She desperately wants to crawl but it will probably be awhile. She has started scooting but so far she has only figured out how to scoot backwards. She then gets frustrated because she accidentally scoots away from her toys and can't figure out how to get back to them. Oh well, I'm sure she'll figure it out sooner or later. Well, I'm off to work on my project....wish me luck!

I got tagged

2009-04-30T10:02:00.001-07:00

Alright Joanna. I swear I didn't primp. Here's me around 1230 in the morning working on my project. Evidence that I am actually doing it. My attire wasn't blog appropriate hence the camera angle. I don't have anyone to tag. That's kind of sad, now that I think about it. Oh well.

Super Fast Update

2009-04-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Super fast post....

Jenna is still cute as a button

Pat is sick

I have finished chapter 1 of my project....Wooohooo!!!

Random stuff

2009-04-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

So I thought I'd post about a few random things and then you might not hear from me for awhile. I really need to finish up with school stuff, and I'm committing myself to finish my project before I do anymore blogging. So I'll throw in some pics of Jenna tonight so you won't miss her too much. So here goes...I'll start with some updates

Jenna pretty much got it together and didn't need to be Ferberized. It was amazing actually. I did the post and she started going to bed very easily. Maybe someday I'll just post about potty-training and she'll just be trained (haha). Last week she was even sleeping 10 hours straight, waking up to eat, and sleeping 2-3 more hours...really it was heaven. This week Jenna has decided to wake up and chat in the middle of the night. Last night it was around 3am. Just woke up and started chatting in her bed. She chats loud though. She chatted for like 30 minutes and then started fussing. Luckily, she went back to sleep.
Jenna is doing okay with daycare. She loves Stephanye which makes me really happy. She still likes to be held a lot while she's there and I was kind of hoping she'd get over that. Stephanye told us it's really normal and probably once she can crawl and get around, she will be better about being put down. Fingers crossed.
So we had about 45 minutes of Spring here in Fresno and then went straight to summer. Seriously, like upper 90s all week. I was totally not ready for that. Poor Jenna is all red faced everytime we go out for any length of time. But, on the flip side, her summer clothes are super adorable, and I love seeing her little body.
She is over her cold completely and no longer has a snotty nose...who knew a little nose could produce that much snot??!
She is doing better with her solid feedings. She is eating squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, bananas, pears, and apples. I'm thinking her favorite veggie is squash and she prefers bananas and apples over pears. I'm slowly learning patience but it's a constant battle for me. I really have to get over it or I'm not going to survive the toddler years.
Pat has still not been back to Lowes. We are very much enjoying the firepot though. It's now for ambiance considering the heat. We put a duraflame in there and it doesn't put out heat so we can enjoy it year round.
And...as for me, I'm officially one month away from graduation. I need to finish my project, which I'm hoping to do by the end of the weekend. I then need to finish my hours and the online charting of those hours. Really once the project is done it will be a huge relief. I'm in negotiations right now with my future boss and my contract should be complete this week.

So that's it for now. hope you guys like these random photos

Jenna's first pair of summer Jammies, which of course, match her cousins jammies

She loves to sleep with her head pushed in the corners of the bumpers. Also, note her tucked in feet.

Jenna with her new beach ball, which is also a birthday party invitation for her friend Jordan.

And this, I just love. She had just woken up and even has a little bedhead going on. I just love her so much.

Easter Weekend

2009-04-19T14:15:00.001-07:00

Well it's been awhile since I posted so there's a bit to catch up on. Jenna got sick her first week in daycare of course, so she stayed home on thursday and friday before Easter. Is it like a rule that your kid has to get sick in the middle of the night?? So anyways, J and Joanna and the girls arrived on Friday. I was working but Pat and Jenna got to hang out with them. I went over to my mom's after work and got to see everyone. Considering she had a cold, Jenna was in a super good mood. She loves her cousins and her Auntie JoJo and Uncle J. Paige is so helpful and she even changed Jenna's diaper twice.

On Saturday, we celebrated Easter with Pat's side of the family. Jenna did great and totally showed off her cute little personality, which was great because the last time all those relatives saw her, she screamed like a banshee all night. We missed out on Easter with my dad which I was super bummed about, but we can only be in one place at a time. Sunday we got up and headed over to my mom's house for brunch. We had great intentions of going to church but Jenna slept in, which means we slept in and missed it. Breakfast was awesome and the girls got to open their Easter presents from my mom. Seriously, the gifts were all wrapped up in the corner and you would think it was Christmas if not for the pastel paper. Anyways, the three girls got adorable coordinating Gymboree outfits and books. We then came back to our house to have Easter fun and dinner. Pat used his smoker for the first time to prepare a tri-tip and it turned out so yummy. It was so much fun and it was so nice to be here at our house so we could easily put Jenna to bed and the party didn't have to end. Anyways, that was Easter. Thank you to Mom aka Nonnie, J and Joanna, Paige, Ally, Nonnie aka Nana, and Auntie Pam for coming over to help celebrate Jenna's first Easter, and for all her adorable gifts.

by the way, check out the super cute matching red and white dresses. Thank you so much Terry (Joanna's mom) for Jenna's dress...I LOVE it!

I don't love the formatting for this post but I'm too tired and too irritated to try to fix it, sorry.

First Day at Dermers

2009-04-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

Prepare for a long post...

Well...it was inevitable... Jenna has started daycare. She went for the first time yesterday sort of as a trial run. Really it was a trial run for us. Sunday night was very emotional for me. I cried quite a bit and I'm not really sure why. It's not like I've never left her before. I returned to work at the beginning of March and I had returned to school in January, so we've definitely been separated before. I think I was just worried that she would feel sad and lonely and abandoned. Even typing this makes me emotional. Anyways, yesterday morning Pat and I packed her up and took her to daycare.

She has one primary care giver Stephanye, though there are probably 3-4 other teachers in the room. The center believes that it is important for infants to have a primary care giver so that they can develop a bond with that person. So each teacher has 2-3 infants to care for. Jenna is one of the youngest in the class and is Stephanye's youngest.

So anyways, we got there and they were expecting Jenna, and they had a little cubby labeled for her. They showed us the daily routine and how they log all of her activities. We handed Jenna over to Stephanye, gave her a kiss, and left. I walked straight out and Pat stood there for a second and watched Jenna through the window. He reassured me that she was smiling at some of the other babies. We went out to breakfast, and as soon as we sat down, my tears started again. I made it until noon before I called to check on her (which they told me I could do). They were honest with me and let me know that Jenna cried a bit and wanted to be held a lot. Stephanye told me this was normal behavior, especially in the beginning. I could hardly wait to pick her up and so I went at 3:30. When I walked in and Jenna saw me, she smiled, and then burst into tears. Totally ripped my heart out. She passed out in the car on the way home and I could tell she was completely exhausted.

We went back today and pretty much got the same report from her teachers. However, when she saw us, she just smiled a lot and didn't cry at all. We got home and played, and Jenna was in bed by 6:45 and we haven't heard from her since. I know she will be fine and will likely thrive in daycare, and I can tell all the teachers really love what they do and love all the babies, but it's still going to take me some time to adjust.

God Bless You!

2009-04-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

Okay so this is what happens when you sneeze with a mouth full of sweet potatoes. Seriously, it went everywhere. All over her shirt, pants, face, hair, and bouncy seat. Needless to say, dinner time was immediately followed by bath time. Other than sneezing with her mouth full, Jenna is doing really well with eating. It took about a week for her to figure out what to do with her tongue but she has got it. She has had rice cereal, oatmeal cereal (which she prefers), sweet potatoes, and bananas. I had to give myself a little attitude adjustment about half way through the week. I was slightly frustrated with the fact that she would spit most of the food back out and it was seriously messy. Then she would stick her hand in her mouth and touch her hair or her clothes, or the cover of her high chair. I had to remind myself that she's only 4 months, she has to learn, and messy is okay. So now I take a few deep breaths, sometimes strip off her clothes, and go for it.

Spring Fever

2009-03-31T22:45:00.000-07:00

We've had a few really nice days around here lately. On Saturday, Jenna and I went shopping with my mom (Nonnie), and it was so warm outside. Poor Jenna was way over dressed. When we got home I stripped her down to just a onesie. Looking through her closet I realized we really didn't have any spring or summer clothes. So, Sunday us three girls headed back out to the mall and hit up the Gymboree Spring Break sale. Seriously cute stuff!! Up until Sunday, I hadn't done any shopping for Jenna. She has received so many gifts that we have not had to buy her anything. It helped me not feel so guilty on Sunday. Anyways, today was a beautiful day and so we decided to go with one of her spring outfits. This adorable outfit was given to Jenna by her Uncle J and Auntie JoJo. Pat dressed her (and even added the bow) and brought her out to me and I almost died because she just looked so cute!! I love her little body and she's always so covered up. I can't wait for all the spring and summer outfits to come! Thanks Auntie JoJo, Uncle J, Paige and Ally for this adorable outfit...we LOVE it!

What a Trooper

2009-03-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

Today was Jenna's 4 month well baby check. I truly love our pediatrician and I look forward to the appointments, except of course, the shots. Pat had to work today, and because I was dreading going alone, I made Papa go with us. I just didn't want to do the shot thing all by myself. Jenna got a total of 4 shots today, 2 in each thigh. She screamed and turned bright red, and it was pretty awful. It brought tears to my eyes actually. Papa did pretty well though. Other than the shots, the appointment went pretty well. Jenna weighed in at 15.5 pounds even, and measured 25 inches. She's in the 90th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height. Her check-up went really well and everything looked perfect. Her pediatrician said she is behaving more like a 6 month old and even went out to get the 6 month check-up sheet to show me that she is already doing things that were listed on it. I, of course, was so happy to hear that. He told us we could start giving her rice cereal now and soon we can start some stage 1 fruits and veggies. She has been getting rice cereal in her bottles because of her reflux but he said to try the spoon now. We'll see how that goes. But anyways, here's a picture of Jenna with her matching band-aids. This was taking after a bottle and a nap. Looks like the shots aren't bothering her too much.

4 Months!!!

2009-03-24T17:35:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe that Jenna is 4 months old today. She seems like such a big baby already and is interacting so much more with us. According to our pediatrician, 4 months is a magical age. When we sat in his office crying about her reflux and fussiness (when she was 3 weeks old), he told us life would be beautiful at 4 months. He was definitely right. She is such a happier baby now and we are so much more at ease with her. She brings such joy to our lives and we love her more than we ever thought possible. She is so huggable and kissable and I think we sometimes drive her crazy with all our kisses! Oh well...she will have to suffer through it. I'm going to steal Kelly's idea for monthly updates so here goes.

At 4 months Jenna is...

Wearing 3-6 month clothing
Wearing size 2 diapers
Eating approximately 20-24 ounces of formula per day

Taking 2-3 naps that last anywhere from 45 minutes- 2 hours

Going to bed at 7 pm and waking up at 730 am, with 1-2 feedings in between

Starting to giggle a lot more

Cooing and babbling, and even starting to squeal with delight

Has a major love of hair. She will watch me blowdry and flat iron mine every day, and loves playing with daddy's stiff, spiky hair.

Loves her nightly bath...seriously it's her favorite time of day

Likes playing on her Baby Einstein mat

Likes hanging out in her jumperoo

Loves to read stories...her favorites are Brown Bear Brown Bear What do you Hear and Polar Bear Polar Bear What do you See

Loves to listen to her daddy play the piano (this is the sure fire way to calm her down)

Is starting to take an interest in the Baby Einstein DVDs

Still not the best car traveler, i.e. she screams bloody murder about 50% of the time

Chewing on her left index finger and putting everything in her mouth

The absolute sweetest little baby and the joy in our lives

Ferber v. Focker

2009-03-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...the sleeping baby is so perfect and so angelic and just so lovely. The process of getting the baby to sleep...not so much. Jenna is a fairly good sleeper at this point. She still fights napping on some days but for the most part she takes 2-3 naps a day that range from 45 minutes - 2 hours in length. At night, she sleeps anywhere from 5-8 hour stretches before waking for a feeding. So I'm sure you are all thinking we should consider ourselves lucky and stop complaining. Our main problem is the process of getting to sleep. When Jenna was about 6 weeks old we started creating a nighttime routine for her. She has a bath, a bottle, and is rocked/ walked/ bounced until she falls asleep. We then put her in her bed and hope for the best. A lot of the time she awakens within 10-15 minutes and cries. We then go back and start the rock/walk/ bounce process over. Sometimes this goes on for 2 hours! I just don't have the patience for that. Plus I don't think we are doing her any favors by not encouraging her to learn some self-soothing techniques. She does use a pacifier at naptime and bedtime, and the blanket at naptime only (SIDs risk). So our pediatrician is recommending the Ferber method. Dr Richard Ferber is the cry-it-out guy. Pat prefers the Focker method...you know from the movie Meet the Fockers, which is the opposite of the Ferber method. He doesn't like her to cry and he would prefer to cuddle and love on her until she falls asleep again. I'm torn. I of course don't enjoy her crying but as I stated I do not have the patience for 2 hours of putting my child to bed. I've been doing some research and have decided that we need to start bedtime earlier, which we started last night. The actual putting her down was beautiful!! But...she woke up around 1230 am thinking it was time to play. Then she woke up at 330 am thinking it was time to play. Finally at 730 am it was time to play. Tonight, I put her down at 700 pm and it was wonderful. It's now 1140 pm and she is still sleeping and my fingers are crossed. But...in case this is not the answer to our problems, I need some opinions. Anyone reading this should feel free to make a comment and give us opinions and/or advice. What worked for you, what didn't work for you, etc. Should we Ferberize or Fockerize??

Why you don't send a man to Lowe's alone...

2009-03-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

So last weekend we had some friends over for dinner and games, and we tried to straighten up the house a bit. Pat decided to head over to Lowe's to pick up some light bulbs as we had many burned out bulbs throughout the house. So, he's gone for a really long time and I assumed he stopped somewhere else. When he returned home, I was in the back bedroom getting ready. He's all smiles and charming, which means something is up. He tells me that he bought something else at Lowe's and he thinks I should come check it out. Behold the firepot (if that's even what it's called). He proceeds to explain that it puts out more heat than a fire pit and it will add ambiance to our patio and enhance our entertaining. He goes ahead and lights a fire in it and it put out so much smoke you'd think our house was on fire. We quickly put the fire out and decided we better wait until after dark to attempt it again. Well, our friends came over and we never used it that night. Fast forward to tonight. Pat made a fire and we sat out on our patio with some coffee (from his new French press, which is a whole different story), and I must admit, it is pretty cool. So anyways, that's the firepot story. Funniest part is, he forgot the light bulbs.

Happy St. Patty's Day!!

2009-03-17T15:19:00.001-07:00

Today is Jenna's first St. Patrick's Day and I LOVE her outfit. My mom got it for her a few weeks ago and I knew it would be perfect for today. Jenna surely won't be getting pinched by anyone! Hope you all have a fun day!

How Time Flies

2009-03-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

Holy Smokes how fast time flies. I can't believe how much Jenna has changed. She's almost too big for the bath chair. She loves bath time so much but she is such a little daredevil. Every night she attempts to fling herself out of the chair. She actually has accomplished this feat twice, and she went all the way under the water. She didn't love that so much but pretty much handled it like a champ. Anyways, off to bathe the little fish now.

Here We Go...

2009-03-05T23:24:00.001-08:00

Alright, so I am finally giving in and starting a blog. I'm not sure who all will be interested in what I have to say but I do have a cute kid and I'm thinking most people will just be checking for new pictures of her. So anyways, I think I'll start with a quick update on what's new here at our house.

Jenna is now 3 months and 1 week old, which is nuts! It feels like we just had her and like she's been here forever all at the same time. Pat and I are adjusting fairly well to parenthood and are, of course, madly in love with our little one. I just started back to work, which has been a little difficult. I hate being away from Jenna for 12 hours...it's entirely too long. Usually when I leave for work she is still sleeping and when I get home, she is on her way to bed. Fortunately, I only have about 3 more months of 12 hour shifts left. I'm in the last semester of my master's program and thrilled to death to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Pat is working at Fresno State and for his father. He spends a lot of time taking care of Jenna while I'm at clinicals and at work and I'm so happy to say that Jenna is just as happy with Daddy as she is with Mommy, which is important to me.

As for Jenna, she is:

Rolling over, both from her tummy to her back, and her back to her tummy
Wearing 3-6 month sized clothing
Sleeping anywhere from 4-7 hour stretches at night
Smiling all the time and giggling occasionally
Absolutely loving her nightly bath
A very loved little girl